A love for Africa, growing -- December 21, 2006

After safari for 10 days, I feel a deep respect and a love, a love for Africa, growing.

I feel so many conflicting feelings emanating from the core of my being, pummeling through the surface of my skin. I feel bewilderment and sadness for the backwardness that imprisons Africa. I feel encouraged and dejected, because there is so much that is possible and positive here, and at the same time, so many simple things that are absurdly unattainable.

I want to feel positive and open and non-judgmental (for me the wisest, best approach in life), but many times I judge this place as difficult, non-sensical and self-defeating. I feel these things, then something little makes me laugh and love this place again.

Some time ago (after visiting Kruger in South Africa, on my way to Namibia), I had an epiphany that came to me with the undeniable force of truth. That was if I was to continue to travel through Africa as I had to that point -- as a tourist with the full comforts, privileges and defaults of the Western world -- that would be a completely different experience from what I intended, being on the ground, in the bush, absorbing myself into other ways of life. I want the African experience not the tourist in Africa experience.

So, how do I get there, this is a part of the journey...